Everyone faces a bully at some point, whether in school, work, or life. Having the right words to shut them down can make all the difference. Here are good comebacks for bullies that will not only put them in their place but also help you maintain your confidence.
These good burns for bullies and good roasts for bullies are perfect for deflecting negativity and standing your ground.
1. Sassy Comebacks to Show Bullies Who’s Boss
- “Is that the best insult you’ve got? I’ve heard better from my five-year-old cousin.”
- “That’s funny coming from someone who clearly has nothing better to do!”
- “If you want a hobby, try minding your own business!”
- “Is that supposed to hurt? I’ve seen stronger insults from a rubber chicken!”
- “Your words are like a mirror: they reflect your own insecurities.”
2. Quick Burns for Bullies That Will Make Them Think Twice
- “Wow, you must really be proud of that insult… too bad it’s not even creative!”
- “Oh, I didn’t realize we were playing a game of ‘Who Can Be the Most Petty.’”
- “I’d argue with you, but I’m pretty sure you’re already behind in the race to the bottom.”
- “If I had a dollar for every time you said something foolish, I’d be rich!”
- “Are you always this mean, or is today just a special day?”
3. Sharp Bully Comebacks to Shut Them Down Fast
- “I’d give you a piece of my mind, but I’m fresh out of nonsense.”
- “You talk a lot for someone who has nothing of value to say.”
- “I could listen to your insults all day, but I’d rather save my ears for something intelligent.”
- “That was such a good joke, I almost forgot how unfunny you are.”
- “I guess your personality’s as limited as your vocabulary.”
4. Confident Comebacks to Say to Bullies with Style
- “I’d take your opinion seriously, but you lost all credibility when you started bullying people.”
- “If being cruel was a competition, you’d definitely win a medal.”
- “Your insults are as impressive as a wet paper towel.”
- “I’m not going to stoop to your level. I have better things to do.”
- “Your words are like a broken pencil—pointless.”
5. Hilarious Roasts for Bullies That Will Leave Them Speechless
- “You’re like a cloud. When you disappear, it’s a beautiful day.”
- “Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe you’ll find a brain back there.”
- “You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room.”
- “I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.”
- “I’m not arguing with you, I’m just explaining why I’m right.”
6. Witty Comebacks for Bullies That Will Put Them in Their Place
- “I don’t have time for your nonsense. Maybe try again when you make sense.”
- “Your insults are so weak, even a feather could knock them over.”
- “I’m sorry, did you say something? I don’t listen to people who have no originality.”
- “Is this the part where I’m supposed to be offended?”
- “I’d love to entertain you, but you’re just not funny enough.”
7. Epic Bully Comebacks That Will Keep You Calm and Collected
- “You know, for someone with so little going for them, you sure talk a lot.”
- “Thanks for sharing. I didn’t ask, but I’m sure someone cares.”
- “You should try being nice, it’s a lot more fun!”
- “You sound like a broken record, but unfortunately, I’m not interested in hearing the same thing over and over.”
- “Is that the best you can do? I’ve had better banter with my dog.”
8. Comebacks for Bullies That Show No Mercy
- “I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.”
- “Aww, your insults are cute. Too bad they don’t work on me.”
- “You should take that energy and put it into something productive. Like, I don’t know, a hobby.”
- “I’m really not sure how to respond, but I guess ‘thanks for the opinion’ will do.”
- “I see you’re still pretending to be important. How cute.”
9. Quick-Witted Bully Comebacks to Make Them Regret Messing with You
- “Is that your best attempt at being clever? I’ve seen better insults on a fortune cookie.”
- “I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of how unoriginal you are.”
- “Oh, you think that hurts? I’ve had paper cuts that hurt more.”
- “Nice try, but your insult is as outdated as your style.”
- “If I had a dollar for every time you tried to insult me, I’d be rich enough to buy better insults.”
10. Roasts for Bullies That Will Leave Them Speechless
- “I can’t hear you over the sound of your ego getting in the way.”
- “Is that supposed to offend me? It sounds like you’re talking to yourself.”
- “Why don’t you go insult a mirror? At least there’s someone who might listen.”
- “I would say something back, but I’m afraid I’d outshine your weak roast.”
- “If I wanted advice from someone like you, I’d ask my dog.”
11. Strong Comebacks for Bullies Who Think They Can Get Under Your Skin
- “I’d love to argue, but I don’t talk to people who only talk to hear themselves speak.”
- “I didn’t realize we were in middle school again with these silly insults.”
- “If you had a brain, I’d say you should use it. But we both know that’s not going to happen.”
- “I’m not sure what hurts more: your insults or the fact that you’re so predictable.”
- “You’re like a Google search with no results — absolutely useless.”
12. Clever Bully Comebacks to Shut Them Down Without a Fight
- “Your words are so weak, even a feather could knock them over.”
- “Is that the best you’ve got? I’ve had better insults from my alarm clock.”
- “I could listen to your insults all day, but I’m too busy being awesome.”
- “I’m sorry, was that supposed to be an insult? It was more like a motivational quote.”
- “I’m not offended. I just feel bad for you.”
13. Sarcastic Burns for Bullies That Will Make Them Think Twice
- “Oh, I didn’t realize you were a comedy expert. I’ll be sure to get your autograph.”
- “I didn’t know bullying was a full-time job. Do you get benefits?”
- “That was really funny. Not as funny as your face, though.”
- “You’ve got the humor of a brick wall, and I’m loving it.”
- “You should consider a career in stand-up. After all, you’re already good at making people uncomfortable.”
14. Comebacks to Say to Bullies That Show You’re Unbothered
- “I’m not angry; I’m just laughing at your lack of originality.”
- “I don’t need to defend myself. You’re already doing a great job of embarrassing yourself.”
- “Your insult has the same effect as a mosquito bite. Annoying, but it’ll pass.”
- “You can keep talking, but I’m not listening. Your words are like background noise.”
- “I’d say something back, but you wouldn’t understand it.”
15. Funny Bully Comebacks That Will Have Everyone Laughing
- “I guess bullying is your only personality trait.”
- “You should change your name to ‘Captain Obvious’ because that’s all I hear.”
- “You know, if you weren’t so busy bullying people, you could actually make some friends.”
- “It’s cute how you think your insults bother me. They’re just making me stronger.”
- “Oh, I didn’t realize we were in a roast battle. You can’t win against a professional.”
16. Epic Burns for Bullies That Will Have Them Second-Guessing Their Life Choices
- “If I wanted to hear something uninformed, I’d just ask you for an opinion.”
- “Your insults are like expired coupons — totally useless.”
- “I’m sorry, I can’t hear you. Your words are too weak.”
- “Keep talking; your nonsense is actually kind of entertaining.”
- “I’m not worried. I’ve got way more important things to do than listen to you.”
17. Quick Comebacks That Will Shut Bullies Down Instantly
- “Your opinion is like a fart: everyone hears it, but no one cares.”
- “You’re trying hard, but I’m just too busy being awesome.”
- “I don’t have time for negativity, especially not from someone like you.”
- “I’m not offended. I just feel sorry for you.”
- “Is that the best you’ve got? You really should try harder next time.”
18. Roasts for Bullies That Are Too Good to Ignore
- “You might want to check your attitude. It’s starting to smell like desperation.”
- “Your insults are about as sharp as a marshmallow.”
- “If I wanted advice from someone with no sense of humor, I’d ask you again.”
- “You’ve been talking for so long, I almost forgot you said anything of value.”
- “You’re like a broken pencil. Pointless.”
19. Hilarious Comebacks for Bullies That Will Leave Them Speechless
- “I’d argue with you, but I don’t argue with people who don’t have facts.”
- “You don’t even need to insult me; your personality does the job for you.”
- “If ignorance is bliss, you must be in heaven.”
- “Your insults are as effective as a wet noodle.”
- “I’m just here to enjoy life, not to listen to your negativity.”
20. Bully Comebacks That Will Keep You Calm and Collected
- “I’ve got better things to do than listen to your nonsense.”
- “You sound like a broken record, but I’m still not impressed.”
- “You’re just mad because you can’t come up with something better.”
- “I don’t need to stoop to your level. I’m way too busy being awesome.”
- “I’m going to let you finish, but that was the weakest roast I’ve ever heard.”
Final Words
Dealing with bullies can be tough, but it’s essential to stay calm and respond with confidence. These comebacks for bullies and roasts for bullies will help you handle any situation with style, putting the bullies in their place without breaking a sweat.
Whether you’re looking for good burns for bullies or clever comebacks to say to bullies, this list has got you covered! Always remember to stand tall, stay confident, and never let anyone dull your shine!
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