60 Funny and Direct Ways to Say "I Don’t Care"

Sometimes, we all encounter situations where we just don’t feel the need to engage or care, and saying “I don’t care” outright may come off a bit blunt. Instead, why not add some humor and style to your indifference?

Here’s a collection of 60 clever, funny, and witty ways to express that you’re simply not interested.

Use these phrases to keep things lighthearted, direct, and maybe even bring a little smile to those around you.

Table of Contents

List of 60 Ways to Say “I Don’t Care”

Here are 60 funny and direct ways to say “I don’t care”:

Not my circus, not my monkeys.
That’s a you problem, not a me problem.
My give-a-darn is busted.
I’m as interested as a cat in water.
Zero ducks given.
I’ve got better things to not care about.
Meh.
I couldn’t care less if I tried.
That’s above my pay grade.
I’ll put that on my to-ignore list.
My care cup is empty.
I’m fresh out of cares to give.
I’ve got bigger fish to fry.
That’s as interesting as watching paint dry.
I’m all out of shucks to give.
You can find my interest in Neverland.
I’m as interested as a rock.
That’s about as important as a hiccup.
Yawn.
I’d rather watch grass grow.
My care-o-meter is broken.
I’m off to not care somewhere else.
I’m as invested as a sandcastle in a storm.
That’s a tomorrow problem.
I couldn’t give two hoots.
My interest level is subterranean.
I’m indifferent as a goldfish.
I’ve got a date with not caring.
That’s less important than lint.
I’m not bothered.
I’m as moved as a statue.
I’ve got no skin in this game.
I’d rather count my eyelashes.
I’m about as engaged as a brick wall.
I’ve got better things to not do.
I’m as fascinated as a sloth.
That’s a hard pass from me.
I’d rather stare at a blank wall.
I’m as concerned as a potato.
I’ve got bigger naps to take.
I’m as invested as a bystander.
That’s a nope from me.
I’m as interested as a doorknob.
I’d rather be napping.
I’m as enthusiastic as a sleeping cat.
I’ve got no horses in this race.
I’m as curious as a rock.
I’m all out of interest coupons.
I’d rather be anywhere else.
That’s about as gripping as a soggy noodle.
I’m as enthused as a couch potato.
I’d rather watch paint peel.
I’m about as concerned as a pillow.
I’ve got zero interest.
That’s a no from me, dawg.
I’m as invested as a brick.
That’s as compelling as dust.
I’m fresh out of interest.
I’d rather count grains of sand.
I’m as excited as a sloth on a lazy day.

1. Not My Circus, Not My Monkeys

This phrase is a classic way to express disinterest, saying that you’re not involved in the situation at hand. It’s humorous and a little whimsical, painting a picture of a chaotic circus that you’re just not part of.

“Listen, this is not my circus, so not my monkeys. I’ll let them handle it.”
“Oh, that sounds chaotic, but not my circus, not my monkeys!”
“I’d love to help, but, you know, not my monkeys.”

2. That’s a You Problem, Not a Me Problem

When you need a direct approach, this one’s a classic. It tells the other person that you’re not going to involve yourself in their issues. Sometimes people need that gentle reminder to handle their own challenges.

“Looks like a you problem, not a me problem.”
“I see you’ve got an issue, but that’s a you thing to deal with.”
“Well, good luck with that—it’s your problem, not mine.”

3. My Give-a-Darn is Busted

This line is a fun way to say that you’re just out of energy to care. Perfect for adding humor to a situation when you’re just over it!

“Yeah, my give-a-darn is busted today, so I can’t help.”
“Oh no, I’d love to care, but my give-a-darn is broken.”
“Sorry, my caring machine is out of order.”

4. I’m as Interested as a Cat in Water

Cats and water are famously incompatible, so using this phrase is a creative way to say you’re absolutely not invested in the topic. A playful and relatable way to opt out.

“That sounds intriguing, but I’m as interested as a cat in water.”
“Ah, fascinating, but cats and water don’t mix, and neither does my interest.”
“I’m honestly as engaged as a wet cat here.”

5. Zero Ducks Given

This one’s an edgy and humorous way to say you’re fresh out of cares. It’s a twist on a more popular saying but keeps things a bit more lighthearted and fun.

“I have exactly zero ducks to give right now.”
“That’s interesting, but zero ducks from me.”
“I’d love to care, but I’ve got no ducks to give.”

6. I’ve Got Better Things to Not Care About

A humorous twist that suggests you’ve got a packed schedule of things you don’t care about. It’s lighthearted yet still gets the point across.

“I’m sorry, I have too many other things to not care about.”
“I’d get involved, but I’ve got better things to ignore.”
“Looks like my not-caring schedule is full.”

7. Meh

Sometimes, a single word is all you need. “Meh” conveys disinterest in a minimalistic way, perfect for quick, casual exchanges.

“How do I feel about it? Meh.”
“Sounds meh to me.”
“I’m meh on the whole thing, honestly.”

8. I Couldn’t Care Less if I Tried

This phrase is a classic, making it clear that you’ve reached the bottom of your caring capacity.

“Trust me, I couldn’t care less if I tried.”
“Even if I gave it my all, I’d still care less.”
“Caring less isn’t possible right now.”

9. That’s Above My Pay Grade

Using “that’s above my pay grade” is a clever way to sidestep responsibility or involvement, suggesting you’re not equipped to handle it.

“Oh, that’s way above my pay grade.”
“I’d get involved, but it’s above my expertise level.”
“Not for me—that’s above my role.”

10. I’ll Put That on My To-Ignore List

A funny twist on the classic “to-do” list, this phrase lets others know that whatever they’re mentioning is getting sidelined.

“Sure thing, I’ll put it on my to-ignore list.”
“Adding that to my ignore list as we speak.”
“Noted for later ignoring!”

11. My Care Cup is Empty

Light and to the point, this phrase humorously suggests you have no more capacity to care. Great for situations where you need to show you’re at your limit.

“Sorry, my care cup is empty today.”
“I’d help, but not a drop left in the care cup.”
“No room—care cup’s empty!”

12. I’m Fresh Out of Cares to Give

This phrase makes it sound like cares are a limited resource—and you’re all out. A perfect, polite way to express your indifference.

“I’m fresh out of cares to give right now.”
“Yeah, supply’s low—I’ve got no cares left.”
“The care reserve is fully depleted.”

13. I’ve Got Bigger Fish to Fry

Classic and relatable, this phrase implies you’ve got more important things to handle, and this just doesn’t make the cut.

“I’d love to help, but I’ve got bigger fish to fry.”
“Sorry, my priority list is full.”
“Bigger fish on my plate right now!”

14. That’s as Interesting as Watching Paint Dry

With this phrase, you’re subtly telling the other person that the topic just isn’t stimulating enough to capture your attention.

“I’d help, but it’s as interesting as watching paint dry.”
“That’s about as fascinating as a blank wall.”
“I’m riveted like watching grass grow.”

15. I’m All Out of Shucks to Give

A funny, country-style phrase, it gets the point across while adding a little humor.

“Nope, all out of shucks to give.”
“I’d help, but shucks are gone.”
“Fresh out of interest and shucks.”

16. You Can Find My Interest in Neverland

This whimsical phrase implies that your interest is as elusive as a fairy tale. It’s a playful way to let someone know they’ve lost you.

“If you’re looking for my interest, it’s off in Neverland.”
“My interest level is as real as Peter Pan.”
“You might need to search for my interest because it’s not here.”

17. I’m as Interested as a Rock

Comparing yourself to a rock is a humorous way to show just how unengaged you are. Rocks don’t care, and neither do you!

“How do I feel about that? I’m as interested as a rock.”
“You could say my enthusiasm is rock-solid—as in, it’s not there.”
“That’s rock bottom on my interest scale.”

18. That’s About as Important as a Hiccup

This phrase conveys that whatever’s being discussed has little to no significance. It’s light and fun, making your indifference clear.

“Oh, sure, but honestly, that’s as important as a hiccup.”
“Your issue? Important as a hiccup to me.”
“Great, but that ranks as a hiccup on my radar.”

19. Yawn

Sometimes, a simple yawn says it all. It conveys your lack of interest directly and humorously.

“Yawn—that’s fascinating.”
“I’m sorry, did I fall asleep? Yawn.”
“That’s a real snooze-fest—yawn.”

20. I’d Rather Watch Grass Grow

This phrase humorously suggests you’d prefer to engage in something utterly boring than the current topic at hand.

“Honestly, I’d rather watch grass grow than care about that.”
“I’d find watching grass grow far more engaging right now.”
“That sounds riveting, but I think I’d prefer the grass-growing experience.”

21. My Care-O-Meter is Broken

A creative way to express indifference, it implies that you’ve hit a limit with your capacity to care.

“Sorry, my care-o-meter is broken today.”
“That’s interesting, but my meter’s on zero.”
“I’d help, but the care-o-meter’s malfunctioning.”

22. I’m Off to Not Care Somewhere Else

This playful phrase suggests you’re ready to leave the conversation, seeking a more engaging environment.

“Thanks, but I’m off to not care somewhere else.”
“This has been fun, but I need to explore my not-caring options.”
“It’s been real, but I’m headed to a place with less caring.”

23. I’m as Invested as a Sandcastle in a Storm

This phrase cleverly illustrates just how little you’re willing to engage in the situation, implying it’s bound to wash away.

“I’m about as invested as a sandcastle in a storm.”
“That’s a no-go for me; I’m a sandcastle in this weather.”
“No chance—my investment is going under.”

24. That’s a Tomorrow Problem

A perfect way to pass off responsibility, it indicates that you’re choosing to ignore the issue for now.

“That’s a problem for tomorrow, not today.”
“I’ll deal with that tomorrow; today’s a no-care day.”
“Right now? It’s a tomorrow problem.”

25. I Couldn’t Give Two Hoots

A fun way to express total disinterest while keeping it light.

“Honestly, I couldn’t give two hoots about that.”
“My care level? Two hoots and falling!”
“Zero cares—couldn’t give two hoots!”

26. My Interest Level is Subterranean

This creative phrase suggests that your interest is not just low—it’s below ground level!

“How interested am I? Subterranean is being generous.”
“My interest level is below sea level.”
“I’m operating at subterranean interest levels.”

27. I’m Indifferent as a Goldfish

Goldfish are often seen as not caring about much, and this phrase conveys a similar level of indifference.

“I’m about as invested as a goldfish in this.”
“Goldfish level indifference here.”
“Honestly, my care is swimming in circles like a goldfish.”

28. I’ve Got a Date with Not Caring

This fun and casual phrase indicates you’ve got other plans—plans that involve staying indifferent.

“Sorry, I’ve got a date with not caring.”
“I’d help, but not caring has my attention right now.”
“I’d love to, but I’ve scheduled some quality not-caring time.”

29. That’s Less Important Than Lint

This humorous phrase emphasizes just how trivial you find the topic, comparing it to something as insignificant as lint.

“This sounds less important than a piece of lint.”
“Honestly? Lint holds more significance for me.”
“It’s a lint-level issue in my book.”

30. I’m Not Bothered

This straightforward response conveys your lack of concern and is easy to slip into conversation.

“I’m really not bothered by that.”
“Honestly, not bothered at all.”
“You can count me out; I’m not bothered.”

31. I’m as Moved as a Statue

This clever metaphor indicates that your level of engagement is nonexistent, similar to an inanimate object.

“In terms of feeling, I’m as moved as a statue.”
“Your concern? I’m just as moved.”
“Sorry, but statues don’t feel.”

32. I’ve Got No Skin in This Game

This phrase indicates that you have no personal investment or concern in the matter at hand.

“I’m not involved, so I’ve got no skin in this game.”
“Thanks for the offer, but not my arena.”
“I’ll sit this one out; I’ve got no stakes here.”

33. I’d Rather Count My Eyelashes

A fun way to say you’d prefer to do something boring than engage with whatever’s being discussed.

“That sounds great, but I’d rather count my eyelashes.”
“I’d choose eyelash counting over this.”
“This has been enlightening, but I’m off to count my eyelashes.”

34. I’m About as Engaged as a Brick Wall

This phrase humorously conveys how little you’re willing to engage, comparing yourself to something completely unresponsive.

“My engagement level? About as much as a brick wall.”
“How interested am I? Just like that wall—not at all.”
“A brick wall has more interest than I do.”

35. I’ve Got Better Things to Not Do

A playful way to tell someone you have other priorities, even if they’re just as unimportant as the current topic.

“I’d help, but I’ve got better things to not do.”
“Sounds interesting, but my agenda is full of not-doing.”
“I’m busy—with more important not-doing tasks.”

36. I’m as Fascinated as a Sloth

Sloths are known for their slow movements and general lack of excitement, making this phrase a light-hearted way to express indifference.

“I’m as fascinated as a sloth right now.”
“My interest level is on par with a sloth’s.”
“Trust me, sloths are my spirit animals today.”

37. That’s a Hard Pass from Me

This phrase politely expresses that you’re declining to engage without needing to elaborate further.

“Thanks for the offer, but that’s a hard pass from me.”
“I’m going to have to pass on that one.”
“That’s a nope from me.”

38. I’d Rather Stare at a Blank Wall

This phrase expresses that the alternative is just as uninteresting, making it a humorous choice.

“Oh wow, I’d rather stare at a blank wall.”
“Honestly, a blank wall sounds more engaging.”
“I’d prefer to admire the wall’s nothingness.”

39. I’m as Concerned as a Potato

This silly phrase suggests that you’re not concerned at all, much like a potato that doesn’t have any cares in the world.

“My level of concern? As concerned as a potato.”
“I can’t even pretend—I’m as worried as a potato.”
“Potatoes feel no stress, and neither do I.”

40. I’ve Got Bigger Naps to Take

Perfect for letting someone know your priorities lie elsewhere, ideally with some rest involved!

“Sorry, but I’ve got bigger naps to take.”
“I’m busy—with nap time on my agenda.”
“Trust me, napping is way more important.”

41. I’m Just Here for the Snacks

This light-hearted remark conveys that your interest lies elsewhere—specifically, in something delicious!

“Honestly, I’m just here for the snacks.”
“Your news? That’s great, but I’m really just here for the snacks.”
“If snacks are involved, then I’m all ears—otherwise, meh.”

42. Not My Circus, Not My Monkeys

This playful phrase signifies that you’re not responsible for the situation, and therefore, you’re not interested.

“That’s an interesting dilemma, but it’s not my circus, not my monkeys.”
“I’m all for solving problems, but this one is not in my zoo.”
“When it comes to that, it’s not my show.”

43. I’m as Interested as a Dog in a Cat Video

This humorous phrase suggests you’re far too entertained by other things to care about the topic at hand.

“I’m about as interested as a dog watching cat videos.”
“Sorry, my attention is focused on that dog in the cat video.”
“My engagement level? Zero, while watching the dog and cat showdown.”

44. That’s a Total Snoozefest

A funny way to express that the topic is exceedingly boring and you’re not remotely interested.

“I have to say, that’s a total snoozefest for me.”
“Sounds fascinating—if I were a rock.”
“I’d rather be snoozing on the couch.”

45. I’m Just Here for the Vibes

This phrase suggests you’re only interested in the atmosphere, not the details of what’s happening.

“I’m really just here for the vibes, you know?”
“The energy’s nice, but that’s about it—I’m here for the vibes.”
“Whatever’s happening? Vibes only.”

46. I’d Rather Watch Paint Dry

This classic phrase humorously implies that you’d prefer to do something mundane rather than engage with the current topic.

“Oh really? I’d rather watch paint dry than listen.”
“Your story sounds great, but honestly, paint drying is my jam.”
“Thanks, but I’m good—paint drying seems more exciting.”

47. I’m Just Not That Into It

A straightforward yet light-hearted way to express disinterest without being too harsh.

“Honestly, I’m just not that into it.”
“It’s nice to hear, but not my cup of tea.”
“I appreciate it, but I’m really just not that into this.”

48. I’m on a No-Care Diet

This humorous phrase indicates that you’re intentionally choosing not to care about anything right now.

“Right now? I’m on a no-care diet.”
“This week, I’m cutting out all excess caring.”
“Just a heads-up, I’m strictly on a no-care regimen.”

49. I’ve Got a PhD in Not Caring

A playful exaggeration that highlights your expertise in ignoring topics that don’t interest you.

“Just so you know, I’ve got a PhD in not caring.”
“When it comes to this topic, I’m practically a doctor of indifference.”
“Not caring is my specialty.”

50. I’m Like a Cloud: Here but Not Really Present

This whimsical metaphor suggests you’re physically there but mentally checked out.

“I’m like a cloud—floating around but not really here.”
“Think of me as the cloud of indifference—here but not present.”
“Like a cloud, I’m just passing by.”

51. It’s Not My Cup of Tea—More Like My Cup of Dirt

This playful phrase implies that the topic is unappealing to you, comparing it to something unpleasant.

“That sounds lovely, but it’s more like my cup of dirt.”
“Honestly? It’s not my cup of tea; it’s my cup of dirt.”
“Sorry, I’d prefer my tea over dirt.”

52. I’m Busy with My Daydreams

A light-hearted way to express that your mind is elsewhere, lost in your own thoughts.

“I’m really busy with my daydreams right now.”
“Your topic? Not as entertaining as my daydreams.”
“I’d join in, but I’m daydreaming about pizza.”

53. I’m as Engaged as a Dandelion in a Windstorm

This humorous phrase emphasizes your total lack of engagement in the conversation.

“My engagement level? About as much as a dandelion in a windstorm.”
“I’m just a floating dandelion in this conversation.”
“Like a dandelion, I’m just being blown around.”

54. I’m in a Committed Relationship with Indifference

This playful expression shows you’ve fully embraced a lack of interest.

“I’m in a committed relationship with indifference.”
“Indifference is my significant other today.”
“My heart belongs to indifference right now.”

55. I’m Not on That Frequency

A funny way to suggest that you’re simply not tuned in to what’s being discussed.

“Sorry, but I’m not on that frequency.”
“Your concerns? I’m not tuned into that station.”
“Right now? I’m on a different wavelength.”

56. I’ve Got More Important Things to Ignore

This humorous phrase implies you have a list of other unimportant things to prioritize over the current topic.

“I appreciate it, but I’ve got more important things to ignore.”
“Right now? I’m prioritizing my not caring schedule.”
“Trust me, I’ve got a whole list of things to not care about.”

57. My Interest is in Hibernation

This clever metaphor implies that your interest is dormant, much like a bear in winter.

“Sorry, but my interest is currently in hibernation.”
“You’ll have to wake me up when it’s interesting again.”
“My interest? Fast asleep in hibernation.”

58. I’m as Engaged as a Brick in a Wall

This straightforward phrase conveys your disinterest in a humorous, metaphorical way.

“I’m about as engaged as a brick in a wall.”
“Let’s be real—that’s brick-level engagement.”
“I’m just a wallflower made of bricks.”

59. I’m a Self-Proclaimed Indifference Expert

A humorous way to indicate that you’re embracing your lack of care.

“Just so you know, I’m a self-proclaimed indifference expert.”
“When it comes to caring, I’m practically an expert at indifference.”
“Indifference is my field of study.”

60. I’m Just Here for the Comedy Show

This phrase indicates that you’re finding the current situation entertaining, just not for the right reasons.

“Honestly, I’m just here for the comedy show.”
“Your drama? Best entertainment I’ve had all week.”
“I’m enjoying this like a stand-up comedy routine.”

Conclusion

Expressing indifference doesn’t have to be boring! With these funny and playful phrases, you can lighten the mood while making it clear you don’t care. Feel free to use them in everyday conversations or to add a bit of humor when the situation calls for it.

Remember, a good laugh can often make even the most mundane conversations a little more enjoyable!